[ToC]

 

HOW TO DELICATELY DETECT I LIED ABOUT THE DOSING

Karyna McGlynn

                                                                                                                        I lied
ordered the junk on my crashing computer in luddite '97
then someone dropt it on my porch in a padded envelope
                                                                                                                        I held
the Ziplock bag over my sink & scrutinizing the contents
ostensibly pure dextromethorphan: essence of Robitussin
                                                                                                                        I took
a bottleful of horse-sized gel caps, my funnel was too big
& the crystals smelled too nearly like laundry detergents
                                                                                                                        I ate
3 though I had a date I couldn't hold off & didn't want to
die alone why it might be rat poison or dehydrated bleach
                                                                                                                        I made
up my face as usual in the swelter of my Hyde Park room
I didn't really think it would take effect though to say that
                                                                                                                        I forgot
about popping would be a lie & by the time we'd gone up
for our 2nd round the bar started going real close & umber
                                                                                                                        I felt
like a talking head tho for obvious reasons could never say
that instead I said you guys it feels like someone dosed me
                                                                                                                        I tried
saying everyone looked like hobbits over a cargo fumarole
on deck of the faunching sloop they were passing out mead
                                                                                                                        I don't
know when they finally believed me but I couldn't walk &
I maintained the fib while half on the Vorlon home world &
                                                                                                                        I was
a tongue out the car window: I'm a dog I said it & I meant it
then cut to somebody saying yr in the emergency room hon
                                                                                                                        I looked
more like Liberace decorated the inside of a split-level milk
carton w/ polar bear skin rugs & my beau in his leisure suit
                                                                                                                        I said
stop gyrating! stop flashing yr gold teeth! but no one could
understand me because all I would speak was French though
                                                                                                                        I didn't
know a lick of it they called a Quebecoise nurse to translate
who said Vous avez été dopés avec PCP. Comprenez-vous?
                                                                                                                        I lied

 

 

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This poem is a lily-livered attempt to apologize for certain youthful follies.