This one started when Grant's brother Jacques killed their cat Boot by putting him in a big Lego box and throwing the box off the roof. Grant came over and pushed our friend Josh out of his wheelchair, then cried. Josh and I let him cry.
      The next day we went with Grant to confront Jacques, who called us dummies and losers and said we were next if we told anyone. We didn't tell anyone.
      Then the next day Jacques threw Grant off the roof, anyway.

Grant and I were in the dugout, which is what we call the small space between my fence and the neighbor's. Across the street, Jacques was climbing up the ladder to his roof. He was holding Boot by the loose skin on the back of Boot's neck. He put Boot in a big Lego box and threw the box off the roof. A few seconds passed, and then Boot ran out of the box, but in a dazed way. He stumbled into the street, then fell over.
      Grant and I were pretty upset, but we didn't know what to do. I asked Grant why Jacques would do what he did, and Grant said that sometimes he thinks Jacques is a psycho. That didn't help me understand, but I nodded. We went to Josh's to ask his older brother Frank if he'd confront Jacques for us. He said he would, if we let him use the new camera my parents bought for me. I didn't want to do that, because Frank is always breaking things, but I agreed because Grant's my best friend. Frank said he needed the camera first. We said fine, but then we gave him the camera, and he broke it. And then he didn't confront Jacques at all. Instead, he pushed Josh out of his wheelchair.
      And called us dummies and told us to get lost.

I was thinking, maybe we could get Boot and protect him, before Jacques could hurt him. But Boot didn't want to be picked up, so we had to chase him all around Grant's house. He went to Jacques's room, which is off-limits. I saw the look on Grant's face, though, and so got brave and went in.
      Jacques was in there, which wasn't good. He asked me if I knew whose room I was in. I said it was his. He asked if I thought he was dumb. I said I didn't. He took me up to the roof and told me to look at the willow in their front yard. It was beautiful. He pushed me off the roof.

My parents and I were eating dinner. I told them I was having dreams about falling and breaking my neck. They thought I should stop having the dreams. I thought so, too, but I didn't know how. I told them about Jacques and they said he sounds like a psycho. I asked what exactly a psycho is, and they said it's someone who doesn't know how to care about anyone or anything else. I wondered how someone could become a psycho, and they said there are different ways. Being asked too many questions, for instance. Also, you can be born a psycho.
      I told Grant in the dugout that people can be born psychos. He said that he thinks Jacques wasn't born that way, but became that way after his dad made him sleep on Legos every night for three weeks. Also, before going to jail, their dad hit Jacques in the head with a golf club.
      So, Grant thanked me for trying to help him understand, but in the end they were all a step ahead of me.

We thought we could use my new camera to take pictures of Jacques killing Boot. Then we could give the pictures to the police. Jacques saw us taking pictures, though, and climbed down off the roof and chased us down and bashed our heads into the ground. He took my camera and threw it into the river.
      Grant apologized a lot because using the camera was more his idea than mine. And he knew that the camera was the only gift my parents ever gave me. I said it was okay, because it was.
      The next day, we called the police and said to them that Jacques was on the roof and about to kill an animal. They said, this is a people-phone.

Grant and I were hiding in the dugout when we saw Frank pushing Josh toward the river. Josh was struggling, but his legs don't work, and his arms only work a little, and that made Frank laugh.
     We were scared, but we got brave and followed them. At the river's edge, we yelled, don't do that! Grant called Frank a psycho. Frank laughed and said a psycho is someone who doesn't know how to care about others. A socio is someone who can care, but mostly doesn't. He said he has meaningful relationships with people, just not with Josh, and then dumped Josh into the river. I tried to go in the river and save Josh, but I wasn't strong enough to get to him. When I got back to the put-in, I found Grant sitting alone in Josh's chair. He had a bruise on his face.
      Back at Grant's house, we got strawberry milk from his refrigerator and ice from the freezer and sat on the deck to try to relax. We argued a little over who would call Josh's parents. We totally forgot we were supposed to be hiding. Jacques found us and bashed our heads into the ground.

I was asking Mom and Dad how I could know if I'm a psycho or a socio. They said that asking the question means I'm not either of them. I said, but what if I want to hurt somebody? They said sometimes regular people hurt others, too. Doesn't mean you're a psycho or socio.
      I told Grant that, and he agreed. And then what I did was, I went and offered Jacques my camera, in exchange for Boot's life. He was curious, and came toward me. I hit the flash and blinded him for a moment. Then I kicked him in the dick. He fell over, and I kept kicking his dick until he passed out. Then I stomped his head until he died.
      The police had to come and get me. I kept saying that I'm not a psycho or a socio. I knew because I felt terrible the whole time I was hurting Jacques. They said it didn't matter what I felt or what I was. Not now.

Grant and I were in the dugout talking about our fears. His was that he'd end up mean like his brother. I didn't think he would. Mine was that I'd never know what's really inside of me. Grant thought that I would figure it out eventually.
      We thought at the same time that the dugout was sort of like a box. And we were in it and falling, just from a really great height.

Grant's mom called mine, which made me hopeful, but then all they were talking about was school starting. Mom said that I would ride to the junior high with Jacques and Grant. I cried and said that Jacques is the kind of person who throws cats off of roofs. Mom said he's also the kind of person who has a car and drives by the junior high on the way to the high school.
      I told Grant later that I felt like all we were growing up into was a place where people hurt each other. He said he thought I knew that already.
      We wanted strawberry milk, but Jacques was home, and we didn't want to risk seeing him. So, what we did was, we lay in the dugout holding each other. We listed all the names Jacques would call us if he saw us like this. We wished we could be homeschooled like Josh.
      There were cicadas in the willows. We saw a hawk fly by around sunset.

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The original version of "Dugout" was inspired by Genesis and Exodus. A lot of the images in that version, including a flood and a goat, are gone now. The story has gotten much, much shorter.