DEAR CONGRESS,

I’m playing Xbox Legislature 360 After Hours
as either Fat E. avatar
or Fatty Girl avatar
("It’s in the game!") &
I smell butt, k? // Should I
gladhand chairman in chambers or
kiss the ring of member in cloakroom or
caucus without whistle wetting? //
I got three constituencies
deli, bagel & karate—well
donut, burger & stripmall, too
they piss in my face & tell me I’m sweating //
I have missed 55 votes & mounting
like U.S. of A. debt counter, k? //

Yrs, Constituent

DEAR CONGRESS,

You could procure Fed Gov Inflatable Worker® complete w/
Real Break Room Tendencies® & Real Chat Room Impulse® &
Frequent Bouts of Loose Stool® ("Just Add Water™")
now that The Shutdown® has been parried & anyhow subject it to
The Shutdown® experience: Arrival of Ethnic Repo Man® &
Arrival of Ethnic Deputy w/ Four Colour Order to Vacate® &
Arrival of Ethnic Missionary w/ Mimeograph on Position® ///
I dreamt that British Petroleum® was acquired by Chia Pet®
in return for the Intellectual Property® accumulated by Madonna®
when she Flirted® with Stieg Larsson Hologram®—so real that I
purchased Chia Gulf Oil Disaster® ("Just Add Water™" &
"Watch It Grow™") w/ 3.5 pct APR® from Chia High Finance® but
The Sad Regularity of American Life® punked my REM Cycle Chia®
leaving me w/ Flaccid Accounts of Our Inflationary Peoples® ///

Yrs, Constituent

DEAR CONGRESS,

You have re-eroticized
my consumerist tendencies &
I require endless athletic support
or endless Sport
seasons that never expire
teams that never perspire //
"Cardswipe" is the new "Arsewipe"
you Cardswipe you
jockstrap emeritus you &
your glandular glad-handing //
I fashion festive nut balloon
from walnuts & (Magnum) prophylactic
the ladies think me econo-patriotic &
like a nut balloon, I am hard //

Yrs, Constituent

__

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